How Much Dessert Should Kids Really Have? (dietitians weigh in)

Worried about dessert ruining your child's dinner? Fear not- here's how dietitian moms make room for sweets without compromising their children's health or appetite.

This post was written in paid partnership with the Canadian Sugar Institute. As always, all opinions are our own.

Can you think of a single word that, when spoken out loud, makes your child's eyes light up with pure joy?

Dessert!

Okay yes, Lego time, racecars, and sleepovers are close contenders… but dessert definitely has its own special sparkle, doesn't it?

There's something about dessert that feels magical to kids. And as moms, we've watched that excitement unfold at the dinner table, at birthday parties, at grandma's house… 

And here's the truth: sugar isn't going anywhere. Dessert is woven into childhood, celebrations, culture, and honestly? Some of our own favourite memories too.

In this blog post, we want to normalize sweets as something kids will inevitably encounter and share how we, as both Registered Dietitians and moms, manage and talk about dessert. 

Spoiler: this is not one of those articles designed to terrify, shame, or convince you that one slice of cake is going to derail your child's health forever.

If you're bracing yourself for a list of strict rules or fear-based warnings about how dessert is "ruining" your kid… take a deep breath.

That's not at all the vibe. 

We're here to offer perspective, peace, and practical strategies that help kids build a healthy relationship with dessert.

Ready? Let's dig in.

What's the overall goal when it comes to kids and dessert?

First of all, if you're reading this…chances are you have a young eater. For just one minute, let's think in fast-forward mode. Imagine your child as a teenager or young adult. What do you want for them and their relationship with dessert into the future? Use this lens as you read on.

First, there's a psychological health goal:

One of our goals is to make sure kids don't feel deprived.

When dessert is treated like a rare prize or something to be tightly controlled, kids naturally develop a heightened desire for it. It's really just basic psychology. We desire intensely what we think we can't have and research like this shows it. In this particular experiment, researchers learned that putting tight limits on "fun foods" actually draws more attention to them and increases a child's drive to get and eat those foods.

We want our kids to feel a sense of inclusion and relatedness. If they're the only children not being offered dessert foods, it can make them feel alienated. 

Secondly, there's a physical health goal:

We're Dietitians. You don't have to remind us that typical dessert foods are often nutrient poor (but not always!). So with this perspective, we want sugar-containing foods to fit in, not crowd out the foods and nutrients that kids need to grow well like: iron, fibre, fruits, vegetables, and healthy fats.

This is one reason we focus on helping families spot added sugars in everyday foods, so dessert is more satisfying.

Finally, there's a relationship health goal:

Another key goal is to nurture a trusting dynamic between you and your child around all foods, dessert included. When kids are allowed to explore sweets without pressure, shame, or restriction, they tend to naturally practice intuitive eating and understand that their parents trust them. It's this idea that your child can figure it out for themselves. 

When kids experience trust from adults, they internalize it, and trust their own bodies too.

Of course, kids (and adults) may make mistakes in their eating, like overeating or undereating, but that's an important lesson in itself. 

Keeping those psychological, physical, and relational health goals in mind, let's dive into what exactly we mean when we say 'dessert,' and how to develop your own family's dessert strategy.

What exactly is a dessert? 

Dessert is the sweet course that ends a meal. 

When we hear the word dessert, most of us immediately picture something dripping with sugar - a cookie, a slice of birthday cake, or a pie. That's certainly the cultural norm in many households today and it's what we see across mainstream media.

But the truth is, dessert can be anything!

There's no hard and fast rule about dessert being sugar-heavy.

Every family has its own traditions and interpretations. For some, dessert might be a bowl of berries and cream, a fruit salad, health[ier] fruit pizza, hot cocoa or even a small serving of yogurt with a drizzle of honey. For others, it might be more decadent.

How do we talk about desserts as Registered Dietitians?

In our households, we talk about dessert with the same sense of curiosity as we do other foods like a homemade mac and cheese or roasted broccoli. In doing so, we set the stage for food neutrality.

Since kids are often black and white thinkers, aka super literal, it's important to not label dessert as a "bad" food, "high sugar," or something to police. If you do, the narrative in a child's brain goes something like: "this food is bad, I'm eating this food…I guess I might be bad? Am I bad?" As a result, kids internalize these feelings and that's certainly not something we want to foster.

This same neutral approach applies whether dessert is ice cream or something simple like chocolate-covered frozen bananas, which many kids see as just as exciting.

Is it okay for kids to have dessert every day?

Time to get personal! We will each share our own strategies for what works for our families.

Please remember - each home is unique - some families have dessert every evening, while other families only serve it occasionally. Some kids have a strong propensity for sweet foods and overeating, whereas other kids don't. You know your family best, do what works for you while keeping the long term picture in mind!

Nita's home:

In Nita's household, some type of dessert or "treat" food is served almost daily. This might look like cookies, gummy snacks, or it might even be more of a planned dessert like an apple crisp or rice krispie squares, which the kids love.

From time to time, and under the guidance of Ellyn Satter, a well known feeding therapist, Nita will set out a large volume of cookies for the boys to enjoy. This is usually served alongside some fruit and a glass of milk. Literally, she sets it out and leaves.

The idea here is that it isn't a pre-portioned amount of cookies. The boys get a chance to practice self regulation and figure out what works well for them at that moment. 

To her surprise, they almost never eat more than two to three cookies. 

Jessica's home:

Between Halloween, birthday party goodie bags, and all the other holidays that load my kids up with candies, they almost always have a stash of their own at home. Admittedly, it's taken some trial and error over the years to find a system that balances their psychological, physical, and relational health, but we've settled on one that's working! At both lunch and dinner, the kids know they can enjoy a couple of pieces from their stash. 

A few times a week I might offer some ice cream, cookies, or other dessert we might have in the house. My boys then have the choice to either enjoy what I've offered or stick with a selection of their candy. 

And just like Nita does, we occasionally have times where the dessert 'portion' doesn't exist, and they have the opportunity to eat as much or as little as they want. This allows them to practice listening to their bodies' cues for fullness and satisfaction in a judgment-free environment. 

How to serve dessert to kids

Every family treats dessert a little differently. Maybe it shows up every night, maybe only on weekends, or maybe it's saved for special moments. No matter your style, here are some simple ways to serve dessert without the stress.

These tips are geared towards preschool and school age kids, but we also have a guide on how to approach sweets and sugar with babies and toddlers.

Keep dessert to a kid-sized portion

You might be wondering... "but how much dessert can kids have?" Dessert is fun, but again we recognize it's usually not the most nutritious part of the meal. We want kids to enjoy it without filling up on sweets alone. A small, child-sized portion helps them leave room for the foods that give their bodies what they need.

Skip the hurdles

Many of us grew up hearing, "Finish your dinner or no dessert." Our parents meant well-they wanted us to eat enough-but this rule often backfires. Kids learn that dinner is the boring job they must complete to earn the "real" prize. It doesn't help them enjoy the main meal and instead creates a bargaining mentality!

It can also teach them to eat past their fullness. What if they aren't hungry for dinner, but the promise of dessert feels exciting? They may push past their natural signals just to get the treat.

A better option is to make dessert available no matter how much they eat of their main meal. When dessert is a small, predictable portion, kids learn they don't need to fight for it or "earn" it. And you can relax knowing they won't overfill on sweets.

Serve dessert with dinner

This is one of our favourite strategies. It takes the "reward" feeling away because dessert isn't something they have to wait for. It also shows kids that all foods can fit on the same plate-literally and figuratively.

And here's the fun part: kids often surprise us. We've watched ours take a bite of pasta, then a bite of their dessert, then go right back to their veggies. It's a natural rhythm once the pressure is gone, and it helps them figure out how much food their bodies need at that meal.  

Remember the end goal

In our work with adults, we've seen what happens when dessert gets treated like a prize. Many of them are still trying to untangle those old messages, and they often tell us, "I wish this had been different when I was a kid."

That's why this matters. We have the chance to raise a generation of kids who enjoy all foods-sweet, savoury, and everything in between-without the emotional baggage. When dessert loses its "special" status, kids gain something far better: trust in their bodies and confidence at the table.